20091226

a message from the management

Strange writing a blog, I'm so used to writing down my thoughts but they always sit up in a cubic shroud of shadow and dust. Until I clean out my skeletal closet party and find them with times cruel battering. But I read it anyway and I always edit my grammar, then completely criticize all my work and it's irrelevance. So I guess that's why I thought no one would want to read what I have to say.
Though blogging is a new art to me, I finally understand why people do it. I'm so stranded in a digital sea up here, no first mate, no sight of land, and all these thoughts just pound away at the masts of my sailing mind like a hurricane brought by Neptune himself. With every glimpse of the moon from under the waves I catch each opportunity for breath as briefly as the decision to sink or swim has hit my body. It instinctively wants to fight it's way out, but soon enough, exhaustion sets into me and my motor skills.

So what can we do to not drown?

I'll tell you, Aquaman isn't going to save ya, YOU have to want it. Your will to be successful and happy are totally up to you. I say this because I need to hear it as well. I have to believe that good things come to those who wait and that the end will justify the means. In this life time we've seen everything from Jerry curls and Zubazz pants to cell phones and online colleges. It's no wonder that kids are depressed suffering from anxiety issues at the ripe mature age of 9. For some reason the generation following the baby boomers were so hell bent on not being their parents that they were overly involved in their child's lives. In my opinion, granted we all have one, and all of us should probably not be heard.
And truly if you got this far I hope you don't find me completely insane, granted I have a healthy dose of mad behavior. See this as merely the beginning of a new periodical of current events of the mind, soul, and image. This is to be a safe haven for those of you who have a desire to say what you feel has been muted in side of you for to long. please, tell me everything.

20091130

Running With Scissors

 
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the common corotid

 
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"bouseki kakou"

Walking through the park i saw a child,
Arms out wide facing the sun.
Letting it's beautiful rays fill and kiss her face.
As i passed, she grabbed her skirt and started a spin...

Slow at first than picking up speed.
The light bouncing off her curls.
Like a tangle of vines in a vineyard:
Full of life and good spirits.

Suddenly she fell.
As she sat there stunned and dizzy her mother raced over to hold her.
I took a second glance and saw it was me holding you.
So small, fragile, and lost
Wiping your tears away surrounding you with assurance in my arms
"Don't worry" I said " I've got you, it's ok" dusting you off as i stand
You only smile and start to spin again,
To disappear only to leave the little girl in your cloud of dust...

The girl spinning, spinning, spinning again.
As if nothing had happened
Dirt flying off her dress as she goes
Only to fall again...

Only this time, no mother
Frightened, lost, and alone she holds her knees to her chest and cries.
I walk over and knelt down to help her...

She looks up
And our eyes meet
It was me...

b 3-27-09

L'affaire a de'raille'

I have nowhere to be
And nowhere to belong
Drifting along going nowhere fast
Finding you only to lose you in an instant

So lost inside this abstract mind
Searching only to find
That i nothing except, that i know nothing at all

Starving,
My soul, my heart, my mind and spirit
You helped me see
What was wrong with me
But now i'm holding the pieces
With no way to fix it
Just lost
OH god so fucking lost

Bewildered and stunned
I stumbled through this tunnel
To only find the exit blocked and
The fire is approaching fast
Breathless i turn and stand to face it, to tired to run

The end is unknown and out of my control
All i have are these thoughts and dreams
that are out of my reach and your perfect hands

B 3-23-09